Screw gift guides – here’s what I want.

Tis the season to be giving, so don’t you want to know what you should give to me? I accept presents for any and all holidays. I do not discriminate. In fact, I myself celebrate multiple holidays, so this is definitely okay. And now… On to the gift guide!

Inexpensive Items (not many)

A new bathrobe would be very nice. This one, specifically:

Calvin Klein by way of Shopbop – $98

Dinner and a movie date to see Black Swan. I don’t really care where the dinner part of the date is. Shit, I’d be happy with frozen yogurt and Black Swan.

Still of Natalie Portman in Black Swan via


Getting Up There (Price-wise)

A new rug for my bedroom. This Union Jack rug would be totes perf.

Jonathan Adler (2×3) $160


This turbet (aka: turban beret) is exactly what I need to keep warm this winter, and still dress like a man repeller.

Eugenia Kim via Barneys $195


The iPhone 4… The problem here is that I want the white one, which doesn’t exist yet.

Impossible dreams, inspired by Apple.


Let’s throw in an iPad, while we’re at it. Maybe some Apple stock too! Why not?!

If you can get Uncle Steve to hand-deliver this, I’ll love you forever.


Grand Finale

I want an x3, bitch. I definitely don’t need a car, nor do I have anywhere to put one, but whenever I see some lucky duck drive by in a BMW x3 (black exterior, beige or chestnut interior), I blow a load. The one below is pretty boring looking, but it’s just an example. Obviously I would prefer it tricked out with bigger wheels (21’s?), tinted windows, and pretty leather and wood trim on the inside.

I don’t remember where I found this picture. But you can go here to make a purchase.


And there you have it: MY Holiday 2011 Gift Guide. Something for no one, and everything for me.



7 responses to “Screw gift guides – here’s what I want.

  1. If you blow a load every time you see the X3 couldnt you afford one. You said “blow a load”…. and thats awesome.

  2. Celeste, please urban dictionary “to blow a load”.

    No 21’s on bmws.

    Like cheaper things. It’s better for me.

  3. i’ll take you to dinner and a movie.

  4. Zatch… my apologies I thought I was on “If I jizzed Gold Bars”. Wishful thinking I guess ;(


  5. soooooooo obsessed with black swan!

  6. Pingback: Cool shit I got from Santa – Part 1 | If I Pooped Gold Bars…

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